I've been listening to a few songs from Crash's soundtrack.It's hard to believe that i've seen a decent movie with Sandra Bullock in it.Everything was strongly connected with something that was shown as a supernatural thing,like a higher being,but not really.Check out Thomas Newman and Mark Isham if you can.They're both great composers.Thomas Newman did the soundtrack for American Beauty and Six Feet Under.
I'll be leaving for Florence on Tuesday.I have to run errands and get alot of stuff done untill then.Tomorrow i'm getting my visa,hopefully.When i get there i have to move out of my apartment and find a new one in the city so i won't have to a cab back home everynight.The school starts on 6th of september so i'll have all the time i need.
I'm not entirely sure if i got to see my parents all that much this summer.We're all together but not really.My mother spends most of the summer on the island, my dad is half retired, quit smoking,goes to the gym almost everyday.I'm guessing he has a girlfriend.Thank god someone's doing something right.I would say my mom has a boyfriend too but she looks too miserable.I haven't really said this to anyone before but it kills me when i see her like that.We don't really talk anymore,whenever i want to have a decent conversation she says something that make what i say fake.Funny thing is,i'm not fake.Never really have been my entire life.I think she's unhappy whenever she comes back home because it means responsabilities,bad weather,nothing to do and i perfectly understand that.I can see how annoying it can be.At the same time,i will be leaving in a couple of days so i really wanted to see her and spend some time with them at home.There is so much negativity when she's around that it chokes me sometimes and i feel like just..getting out the door and run away as fast as i can.I feel like this is something that happens during the teenager years of life.When i was a teenager,we were better than this.Strangely enough.When i'm away i miss them and i worry about how they are.Each passing day takes away from your strength and health.Obviously they're not 40 anymore.We have this plan for early october.They'll come to Italy.My brother and his girlfriend will be coming from New York to join us and we'll go to Venice for the Bienale.I can't wait.It's going to be till November.I'll probably ditch 2-3 days of school and go with them.I don't think it's going to be a busy semester anyway.But i know one thing.It is going to be a pretty hardcore year.I don't know why i feel this way but i feel something really big coming.Almost like 2006 is going to be my year.*smiles*.No,really.There will be a lot accomplished this year.I have a few plans for after school.If it all works out it will lead me to Belgium.
I'm going to go watch one of the last two episodes of Six Feet Under.I heard that the last one is going to be an hour and a half and it's going to show how each one of them are going to die somewhere in their lives.

In The Deep

Thought you had all the answers
to rest your heart upon
but something happens
don't see it coming, now
you can't stop yourself
now you're out there swimming
in the deep

Life keeps tumbling you heart in circles
till you let go
till you shed your pride and you climb to heaven
and you throw yourself off
now you're out there spinning in the deep

by Bird York